A LETTER TO THE ROYAL DUMA: ON THE TRAITOROUS NUT

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Letter to the Royal Duma:

ON THE TRAITOROUS NUT

KRUSAE ZWY KONGZEM

 

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VA BIRODEO HERZENAV AG ELDERVIK,

 

RECENT EVENTS HAVE CAST A DARK SHADOW OVER OUR FAMILY, AND OUR BELOVED NATION IN EXTENSION. We must find ourselves compelled to take decisive action to safeguard the lives of our most cherished citizens.

 

The Royal Family has found itself plagued by the threat of the walnut, its nutty aromas wafting through the halls, assaulting any Bihar it may claim for its nefarious intentions. Three crows have fallen victim to the hunt of the beast, with the most recent being our beloved Princess Anastasya Milena. These tragic losses have shaken the very foundations of our nation, and we must respond with measures that ensure such a grievous occurrence is never repeated.

 

I propose the following legislation for immediate consideration and enactment:

 

The prohibition of walnuts within the nation of Haense: In light of the fatal threat posed by walnuts to The Royal Family, I propose a complete ban on the possession, sale, and distribution of walnuts within the kingdom. Any who fail to abide by such regulations shall be deemed a traitor to the crown, their actions only indicating their wish for treason, and their intent to harm those within the royal bloodline. This measure is vital to prevent further tragedies and to protect the lives of our beloved royal family and any other citizens who may be at risk.

 

I urge the Royal Duma to act swiftly in passing this legislation, thereby affirming our commitment to the protection of our royal family and the safety of all citizens of Haense. Let us not allow another life to be lost due to inaction.

 

I trust that the gravity of this proposal will be recognized, and that the necessary steps will be taken to implement this critical safeguard.

 

IV JOVEO MAAN,

 

HER ROYAL HIGHNESS, Princess Stefaniya Edvarda, Duchess of Baranya

 

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THE WALNUT ACT

 

 

“KRUSAE ZWY KONGZEM.”

 

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EA BYK ZWE ZANYOTSKER ZWEER EA TER PETRAVEZKER.

“I WOULD HAVE PERISHED HAD I NOT PERSISTED.”

 

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INTRODUCTION

 

To avoid any further harm to the Barbanov-Bihar bloodline, the crown shall ban walnuts from the entirety of the Kingdom of Hanseti-Ruska.

 

AMENDMENT

 

Ch. IV. “Regarding acts of treason and invasion”

IV.VIV. Let he who peddles or possesses walnuts be branded a traitor to the realm and be guilty of Poisoning.

 

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Introduced in Duma by Stefaniya Barbanov-Bihar in 532 E.S.